


Time Travel, Murder, and Other Ways to Fuck Up a Perfectly Good Friendship

by tuesday



Series: Author's Favorites [13]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, Crack, Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Ghosts, Happy Ending, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Rivalry, Superheroes, Superpowers, Supervillains, Temporary Character Death, Time Loop, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 18:07:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13664430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuesday/pseuds/tuesday
Summary: Jess's plan was perfect—too perfect. It wasn't meant to kill his nemesis before he could even say hi. Good thing he has a time loop back-up plan! Too bad he brought his nemesis's ghost along for the ride.—"Not that I meant to spy on your date with your favorite boy-toy—""This is not a date!""—but dude showed up at the crack of dawn like the little over-achiever he was.""Then where—"  Jess cut off at a sudden, horrible suspicion.  "What do you mean by was?""I'm still working on the lipreading, but he said something like, 'Villain!  Come face me, you fiend!' And then the genetically engineered cheetah-mice woke up and went for his ankles." There had been fewer of them when Jess checked on them that morning, but he'd assumed the others had gotten hungry. "In dodging them, he agitated the Africanized hornet-bees—"Oh, no. "—and I guess he recognized them from that feature on the insect abomination YouTube channel, because he went straight for the lake and dove in face-first.""The lake," Jess repeated blankly. "He decided to dive into the poisonous, acidic lake."





	Time Travel, Murder, and Other Ways to Fuck Up a Perfectly Good Friendship

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rosencrantz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosencrantz/gifts).



> On reflection, I worried my assignment was not shippy enough once I'd edited it down into a coherent story. Have a much shippier treat for a different prompt to make up for it! And if you recognize the basic plot from a conversation on Discord, well, they're letting all types there these days. *grin*

It was the perfect plan. Redundancy followed redundancy. Every possibility was carefully considered and covered. Jess had gone on an inventing and building spree, bolstered by what little magical skill he possessed. There were the traditional trap doors leading to spike pits and portals into endless void and tanks of over-sized piranhas waiting to swarm. There were killer robots and automated flamethrowers and creeping, poisonous plants that hungered for human flesh. There were bombs and tripwires and shiny puzzles designed to explode if given the wrong answer—and electrocute if solved correctly. He'd even placed a finally perfected time anchor in the early hours of this morning, so he'd have as many shots at this day as he needed. 

No matter what happened, today would mark either the rise or fall of the Metal Mechanist a.k.a. The Poison Professor a.k.a. "You're overthinking this" a.k.a. ... Jess.

More than his pride was at stake. Jess had made a vow—if the Silver Sneaker beat him this time, Jess was hanging up his villainous cape for good. As Jess couldn't imagine using his powers to rescue kittens and little old ladies and whatever else heroes did when they weren't being annoyingly handsome and getting in his way, failure was not an option. 

Cameras were set up to film every inch of the facility and its surrounding grounds. Jess leaned back in his chair, legs crossed, fingertips pressed together, as he surveyed the multitude of screens that would allow him to monitor the Silver Sneaker's progress from arrival to defeat.

Any minute now, the hero would appear, drawn to his inevitable doom.

Any minute now.

...

Jess sighed. "Computer, call Stubborn Jellyfish."

"Hey, this is SJ. What's up?"

Stubborn Jellyfish was not the worst part-time minion Jess had ever hired—that honor went to a young man who'd set off the self-destruct of one of Jess's first bases when he was supposed to engage the defenses, whom Jess had convinced, in his greatest feat of villainy yet, to go join the heroes—but she was definitely the least serious. Last week she'd insisted on going by Angry Unicorn. The week before that, something about opossums. 

"Jellyfish, did you ensure my nemesis received my challenge?"

"Yep!" she chirped. "I delivered that pretty gilt invitation in person. Should've seen his face when I showed up at his house."

"That's—that's not—I know your power obviates any pretense at privacy, but you shouldn't—"

"Don't worry, Boss, I told him not to open the door until he got his mask on."

"Then how did you see his face?"

"Same way I knew where he lived." Stubborn Jellyfish's all-seeing made her an asset at the same time as it made her an absolute nightmare. 

There was the obnoxious sound of chewing, then a bubble being blown until it popped.

"Did you need something else?"

Jess sighed. "I don't suppose you know when he plans to show up?"

"All-seeing, not all-knowing," Jellyfish said with the cadence of something oft-repeated. "But, uh, yeah, sort of? Not that I meant to spy on your date with your favorite boy-toy—"

"This is not a date!"

"—but dude showed up at the crack of dawn like the little over-achiever he was."

"Then where—" Jess cut off at a sudden, horrible suspicion. "What do you mean by was?"

"I'm still working on the lipreading, but he said something like, 'Villain! Come face me, you fiend!' And then the genetically engineered cheetah-mice woke up and went for his ankles." There had been fewer of them when Jess checked on them that morning, but he'd assumed the others had gotten hungry. "In dodging them, he agitated the Africanized hornet-bees—" _Oh, no_. "—and I guess he recognized them from that feature on the insect abomination YouTube channel, because he went straight for the lake and dove in face-first."

"The lake," Jess repeated blankly. "He decided to dive into the poisonous, acidic lake."

"Face-first," Jellyfish repeated with an awful sort of glee. "I think he at least realized you keep that thing at, like, five hundred degrees, minimum, but by that point he was already in the air. I'm sure the cameras captured it all, if you want to see for yourself."

"Yes." Jess had approximately one hundred monitors in front of him to bring up the footage, but he couldn't see a single one. "Good."

"It was over too fast for there to be any real screaming." This was said conversationally, casually. "You won't miss much of anything with the lack of outdoor audio."

"That's. Fine. That's fine."

"Congrats," Jellyfish said. "It's a pretty definitive win, even if you didn't know it at first. You should be proud, rest on your laurels a bit. You put a lot of hours in. Throw a party. Revel in your victory. Give me a call when you want to start on your next project or you get a new boy-toy."

"Right." Jess stared up at the ceiling, blinking hard. "Right."

"Sorry you didn't get to watch it live."

"Right."

At some point, the line went dead. Eventually, Jess called up the relevant footage. It was just as grisly, as gruesome to watch, as he'd expected. Somehow, it felt worse. He watched it again. Again. _Again._

_**Again.** _

Something snapped. Things got a little out of hand. Time and his actions got away from him. When Jess could focus again, he was surrounded by shattered glass and plastic, little bits of sparking metal and floating tufts of cotton and burnt leather. The sprinklers were going off. His cowl was sodden. His cape was wrapped around his right fist. His left was dripping blood on the wet floor.

The speakers weren't untouched, but they worked well enough to signal a call coming through. Voice rough, rasping, Jess said, "Accept call."

"So, uh, I don't judge, you do you," came Jellyfish's staticky voice, "and if this is how you like to celebrate, then more power to you—"

Jess methodically clenched and unclenched his hands. His fingers weren't moving right.

"—but I thought I'd just call back with a quick reminder that you did set that anchor this morning. You know. If that's a thing that interests you."

He picked up the largest remnant of his chair and threw it.

"Okay, well, reminder over, have fun with that, goodbye!" Jellyfish finished in a rush.

—

The ritual for manipulating time required a fair bit of set-up to complete. Most of it had already been done. The rest was tedious, but not difficult. Mostly, it was time consuming.

The ritual for summoning spirits, however, was much faster and easier, especially the closer it was to the decedent's passing and the better the summoner knew them. Jess was aware his focus should be on undoing the day, but he couldn't resist taking a few minutes for something else. The past would still be there.

This was a mistake.

—

It was the perfect plan. A little too perfect. Jess had had weeks to prepare, and the Silver Sneaker had less than 24 hours' notice. While villainy didn't allow a lot of room for fairness, it was boring when it was too easy. Obviously, the insects were out. Ever since his encounter with the Mistress of Millipedes, Silver had been panicked and irrational when confronted with anything with more than four appendages. It had been a cheap shot, and Jess was better than that. He didn't need to piggyback off the trauma caused by another villain. He could cause his own trauma, thank you very much.

It was a good thing he'd set up the anchor so early, because Silver really did show up at the crack of dawn. The long, lush grass of the lawn was still wet with dew. Silver shouted something, the video showing his mouth moving, and (if) when Jess held future challenges, he'd need to include audio outside, too. Honestly, he'd expected Silver to come straight inside, not stand around jawing at the sky for twenty minutes.

He just went on and on and on. He started to talk with his hands. His gestures grew increasingly jerkier, more erratic. He suddenly waved a fist and stared right into the sun.

What—?

Oh. Right. Those droplets weren't the collected condensation of water in the pre-dawn light. They were left over from the sprinklers Jess had forgotten to turn off—sprinklers loaded with potent hallucinogens.

Silver had started walking in stumbling circles, seemingly muttering to himself. By the time Jess went up to check on him, he'd collapsed. Crouched on his hoverboard, Jess poked Silver with his stave. Silver didn't so much as twitch.

"I told you to get waterproof material for your next costume when I set your last one on fire," Jess said fondly, "but no, you went with something breathable again. Useless."

Jess hadn't gotten the chance to do human trials during the testing phase. He'd get the Silver Sneaker into the infirmary and draw some blood, run some other tests. A showdown could wait until Silver was actually conscious.

Ugh. Silver was heavy, a dead weight in his arms. Easier to put him on the hoverboard.

...

On reflection, Jess should have checked for a pulse first.

...

...

...

Somehow, everything was on fire, including Jess's hoverboard, but that was fine. Everything was fine. Jess didn't even need Jellyfish's reminder this time around.

Everything would be perfectly fine, and Jess would get the confrontation he deserved.

—

The thing about ritual magics was that sometimes they interacted in unpredictable and unexpected ways. Jess had gone through with the summoning the once, and that was one time too many. He wanted to undo what had been done, not get further proof of all the ways he was an awful human being. He got enough of that in his day-to-day life.

But as he began the last of the necessary preparations for unwinding the day, a ghostly, silver figure flickered into being at the edge of his sight. He tried to ignore it. He told himself it was a guilty conscience and overactive imagination. He told himself he'd accidentally absorbed a little of the hallucinogen. He told himself it was impossible to link in a second soul to carry through time.

"In case you're wondering," came a voice he'd rather not hear (one he could listen to forever), "that wasn't nearly as bad as the first one. I mean, still bad? But nowhere near as awful."

—

Jess was grateful for all the extra time, as it meant he could put in microphones where Silver was scheduled to arrive after he got the outdoor fauna and sprinkler system squared away. At the very least, Silver was going to make it to the front door.

—

Silver did not make it to the front door.

In Jess's defense, it was easy to forget about the razor-clawed chameleon-cloaked magpies. They stuck to their nests when they weren't sneaking shiny baubles or gathered for feeding time. They weren't even that dangerous, so long as one avoided getting between them and their baubles or food.

Unfortunately, Silver's costume had been very, very shiny.

—

"Okay, that was actually worse. Much, much worse."

"If you can remember, if you know what's waiting for you, then why—why would you still—"

It was amazing that someone could die in such horrible ways and yet hold enough pity in reserve to gift another. He sounded downright sympathetic. "Because I don't remember until I'm dead."

—

All the fauna was squared away. There were no obstacles or experiments between the Silver Sneaker and the front door. The traps there were so obvious that Jess was sure not even "You're right, I'd make a great sidekick!" actually-gave-his-real-name Anthony would fall for them. 

The doorbell was obviously wired. The knocker glistened with bright green poison where it was not covered in spikes. The welcome mat dipped where it was poorly hiding a pit.

...

The traps were not obvious enough.

—

This required further adjustments.

Lots of them.

(The next eight times, Silver didn't even make it past the foyer.)

—

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," the voice chanted. Silvery knees were drawn up to an insubstantial chin. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so—"

"I can't—I'll reassure you next time, but I can't—"

Jess's voice broke on a name he had no right to speak. His hands hovered uselessly over the space shoulders should have been. He tore his gaze away, forced himself to focus on the ritual.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck."

—

The next time, Jess really did not deserve those reassurances. He got them, anyway.

"It'll get better. You can fix this." Wryly, "And if not, at least I get to keep my color scheme."

—

"Why?" Jess demanded, at the end of his rope and on the verge of cracking up for probably the twelfth time. He shook bloodied shoulders, but felt no better for it. "Do you have a death wish? Did you think it was some sort of double or triple bluff? Are you just trying to spite me?"

("Yeah," a voice murmured from behind him. "If I had a choice, it would definitely be spite.")

His earpiece buzzed with an incoming call. Jess frowned. He hadn't gotten a call at this hour before. He'd only gotten the one call, really, that first day through, and that had been Stubborn Jellyfish calling back.

"Hello?"

This was Stubborn Jellyfish, too. Her voice was a poor attempt at her usual chipper tones. "Date not going well, Boss?"

"It's not a date," Jess said, "but it's certainly not going to plan."

"Ah." Jellyfish hummed. "Seems to me the problem is it keeps going to plan. Oh, not in the—ope, right in the face."

"Are you—"

"Ugh, how does a human body have that much blood, I ask you?" Jess could picture her grimace. "Look. I can't stop looking, and I'm starting to get an awful headache, because everything is layered, except where it's not, and—oh, I think I'm going to throw up. From the pain, not from the melting, though maybe that, too."

"I'm sorry I'm inconveniencing you," Jess said icily, "but I'm kind of busy here."

("How busy can you be? I'm already dead, and you've got all the time in the world.")

"Have you thought about, considering how unhappy it's made you, maybe _not_ killing the hero?"

"I'm trying! He's just making it really, really difficult."

(A snort. "Because I'm the problem here.")

Jellyfish was quiet, but it was a quiet laden heavily with judgment. She couldn't sound any more judgmental if she said the words aloud.

"I literally do not have enough hours in the day before he shows up to disarm all the traps and get all the experiments sequestered away where he can't hurt himself on them, and every time I try to funnel him to the less dangerous areas, he either ignores me or finds some unexpected and new means to die. I am cursed by my own deadly genius."

("Emphasis on deadly.")

"Boss. Seriously. I know you're super into this whole 'only if he defeats me' thing, but. Have you considered hosting your redemption arc somewhere else? It's not like you've trapped the whole city."

It was Jess's turn to be quiet. It was obvious in hindsight, but also—it was like Stubborn Jellyfish didn't know him at all.

"You've trapped the whole city," she said flatly. "What the fuck? Who needs that many bombs?" More outraged, "And under my apartment complex, too? My cat lives there!"

"They're only set to go off if he doesn't show up here," Jess said weakly.

("Wow.")

"You are the worst. You are the actual worst. That is not a compliment. I don't even care about your stupid love problems anymore. _My cat_ , you asshole."

"Though I guess I could disarm them. Maybe he'd help?"

(Resigned, "I bet I would.")

"Don't care! Fix this, or I'm setting the whole union on you. Also, fuck you, I quit."

—

"Do you think I'll remember, once you're done with all this?"

"When I release the anchor, you mean?"

A shrug. 

Jess shrugged in return. "I'm not sure. I didn't mean to tie you into it in the first place."

"But if you had to lay odds?"

"Probably." Jess swallowed. Almost to himself, "But I hope not."

"If I don't, you should tell me."

Jess scoffed. "About killing you a hundred times?"

"No." A pointed look. "Promise you'll tell me."

Jess looked down. "Yeah, okay." It was the least he owed. "I promise."

—

Jess waited just off the side of the road, watching the direction from which the Silver Sneaker always approached. As usual, he rode up on his dorky silver scooter, though he came to a careful stop when he was still several yards away. He turned around to take off his stupid sparkling helmet and exchange it for his even stupider mask. He jogged the last little distance, and his mask did nothing to hide the ridiculous grin on his face.

"Je—" Silver cleared his throat. "Metal Mechanist! Prepare yourself, fiend, for your time of reckoning is upon us!" 

"Trust me, it has been upon me for days and days now."

"No tricks, villain, for—" Silver stopped again. "What do you mean days? I only got your invite yesterday. Have you—have you been seeing other super heros?"

"You're the one who—" Jess stopped himself. "No, I'm not going to argue with you right now. I need your help."

"That doesn't sound very final confrontation-y," Silver said uncertainly.

"I'm over it." Jess's voice was flat, but that was better than breaking. "Really, super over it."

Silver snorted.

"I didn't mean—you know what, no, fine, have your puns. I don't even care at this point."

"You're, uh, are you okay?"

Silver's concern would be touching if Jess weren't on the verge of a breakdown. As it stood, Jess was sure that if Silver pressed him, he'd start screaming. "Look. The city's covered in explosives, and I'd really appreciate your help disarming and disposing of them."

"The _entire_ city? Who would do that?"

"That's not important right now. Are you in or out?"

"A villain-hero team-up to save the day? Of course I'm in!"

Before the Silver Sneaker could start monologuing about how this was the first step down the path back to the light—because that excited expression on his face was surely a prelude to at least ten minutes of grandstanding and poses—Jess grabbed him by the arm and started tugging him forward. "Great. Let's go."

"You don't need to grab anything from your lair?" Silver gestured in that direction, but Jess only tightened his grip.

"Nope. No going back that way. Got everything I need."

The sun rose. The sun set. In between, Jess dismantled what had been weeks of work. When it was full dark, Silver accompanied him home.

"This isn't the way to your lair," Silver said.

"It's not," Jess agreed. He wasn't letting Silver anywhere near the place again until he'd fixed all the dangers therein.

"You know, um." Silver scratched at the back of his neck. "You remember when you challenged me the first time?"

Jess remembered. They'd been teenagers new to their powers, Silver a little more experienced than Jess. They'd agreed to meet at the neighborhood park. Jess had a barebones costume and a ray gun that shorted out before it could fire a single shot. Silver hadn't bothered to fight him at all. Jess had come a long way since then.

"I, uh. At the time, I kind of thought you were asking me out on a date. Not, like, me, but this me." Silver gestured at his costume.

"They're both you," Jess said automatically, but his mind had gone blank.

Silver gave a short laugh. It was surprisingly bitter. "Yeah. It was arrogant to think that maybe—anyway. I just. When I got your invitation, I remembered—it was almost like—" He huffed out a breath of air. "You remember when we were eight and played heroes and villains?"

That wasn't—people didn't just—

Jess was gaping, but it could be excused. Jellyfish's willingness to blur the lines was an anomaly. Jess was willing to acknowledge that Silver had an alter ego (was the alter ego), but actually admitting aloud he knew them both—

"And we were just kids, and people would say we didn't know what it meant, but when I—when the hero beat the villain, he'd save him from himself, and for overcoming evil and a daring rescue, you, um, you would say—"

"'A dashing hero deserves a kiss.'"

Silver's smile was lopsided. He cleared his throat. "Yeah. That. And when I got your invitation, and it said you might—that if I beat you, you would, would hang up your cape, stop being a villain anymore—" His smile faded. His eyes slid away. "Well. Guess I never really outgrew that arrogance."

They came to a stop. No one was out at this hour. For people with powers, they were small-time anyway, neither famous nor infamous. (Jess's powers had only grown over the years, but Silver had plateaued early on.) No one was watching.

"Anyway. This, uh, today, this was it for me. I've all but retired, and I can do more good without a mask than with one. I just, whenever you asked, I could never resist putting it all on one more time." He took off the mask. He put it in Jess's hands. "I always thought you were better at playing the hero than the villain, myself. Either way, I can't—" He shook his head. He smiled, shakier, less genuine. "It was good seeing you again, yeah?"

He turned around. He walked away.

—

Jess had a hundred things to say, but not one made it past the knot in his throat.

—

"Not going to do the day over?" Stubborn Jellyfish asked. She was in her current costume, a light, airy dress, all frothing tulle waves of dark blue and seafoam green. Her mask was an amorphous blob, and her hair hung in twists like tentacles down her back.

Jess sat on the stoop to his apartment building. He was no longer in costume, but he held a piece of another's in his hands. He kept turning the silver mask over and over again.

"Your boy finally made it through the day," Jellyfish said, "but man, all that work for nothing. Shame you didn't even get a kiss in exchange."

"You quit." 

"Eh. Another me, another time." Jellyfish waved a hand. "This me is still invested."

"Even if I quit?"

"Pfft. You mad scientist types, you never quit, even if you turn over a new leaf. Hero, villain, you can't stop inventing." She smiled, slow, sharp, and sweet. "And me? I'm a minion, for however long that interests me. We don't judge. We don't discriminate. Whatever your alignment, it matters a whole lot less than how well you pay."

"And if I decided to do the day over again after all?"

Jellyfish shrugged. "I can't stop you. Fair warning, though: let it go too many times, and some other me will happily murder you to make the migraines stop."

"Hm." 

After a while, Jellyfish wandered off into the night. Jess stayed.

"A kiss, huh?" His voice was quiet. Thoughtful. He said it like he hadn't made up his mind ages ago.

It had been a long day. Jess had been up for a very long time. 

He was willing to make it a little longer still.

—

Pre-dawn light saw Jess standing in front of a familiar house, smack dab in the center of his old neighborhood. Most people wouldn't be awake at this hour. Most people weren't ridiculously early risers. He knocked at the door. Unlike his own, there were no traps or other security precautions—just solid oak in a safely patrolled area.

After a minute or two of breathing in the cool morning air, Jess's knock was answered. A familiar face appeared, puzzled, but smiling. "Jess? What are you—"

Jess reached out, pulled in. It wasn't their first kiss. That belonged to their childhood, to the early days when it didn't have to mean anything, even if in the intervening years, Jess had often wished it had. Now, Sean's face was lightly stubbled. His lips were slightly chapped. His cheeks were warm against Jess's palms.

It wasn't their first kiss, and Jess didn't stop at one, pressing their mouths together again, again, again.

Dawn was just starting to break when Sean pulled away, his face flushed, his eyes wide. "Not that I don't, um—not that I—" Jess rubbed his thumb against the corner of Sean's mouth and grinned wickedly at the way his eyes went wider still. Sean swallowed, said, "But why?"

There were a lot of ways for Jess to answer that, things he probably in all fairness should have said before any kissing took place. Jess didn't have much practice at fair, these days. He settled for, "If I'd known you'd say yes, I'd have asked for that date when I was eight years old."

Sean's smile was like daybreak. It was like a dagger to the heart.

Because he was selfish, Jess stole one more kiss. Because he was a coward, he closed his eyes. Because he was an asshole, Jess said, "I've always been terribly in love with you."

Jess took a deep breath. He released the anchor.

—

He made it halfway down the street before Sean caught up with him.

—

It wasn't a surprise when Silver Sneaker retired. He hadn't done any patrolling since his actual identity started law school. Those few who remembered him were surprised, however, to see that same mask on a former villain's face. Then again, they'd mostly known said villain in the context of "Silver Sneaker's stalker/rival/really strange friend." Maybe it wasn't such a surprise after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Not shown, but definitely present off-screen: 
> 
> -Jess dismantling his lair after finding places for all his animals.  
> -Jess salting the earth once it's all gone.  
> -Sean refusing to visit that side of town.  
> -Jess starting every week with a new anchor just in case.  
> -The local hero in charge of time and timeline disturbances asking Jess increasingly more pointed questions.  
> -Years and years of therapy.


End file.
